Have you even been backstabbed or betrayed by a person or people who helped? How did that feel? Why are some people like that? I wonder why too? Why would anyone try to bite the hands that feed him/her?
Someone once said there’s a reason why some people are poor. Another person also told me that some people deserve the situation they’re in. A Buddhist friend once cautioned me also to be circumspect in regards to being too sympathetic or feeling too sorry for some people in certain predicaments because they may have called their situation on themselves. I am beginning to appreciate the wisdom in that.
I will tell you why!
I am the kind who’s not selfish but rather generous and kind. I do my best for people in need or assist those I can whenever able without expecting anything back. I share my knowledge or anything I can afford to share with whoever I think is in need. At times, the people you sacrifice and give your all are the people who are the most ungrateful and disengenoius. They’re the people who would badmouth or do the most hurtful thing to you. This is more so when the people sought your assistance voluntarily or persistenty pursued you to get the help. But there are others who appreciate the tiniest things you do for them. At times, those who you may not have done much for are the most appreciative, and I wonder why.
One of the most dangerous people are the pretentious and opportunistic individuals whose soul purpose of getting close to use is to ab(use) your trust, knowledge and/or resources and when they think they got what they want, dumb or even backstab or backbite you. Some even fabricate stories or pretend to know you more for the soul purpose of being believed.
I have also seen people who get close to others because of who they think they’re or what they think they’ll gain through their association. Then turn around and their previous access to ruin the lives of their former associates.
What about those you help who start to behave as if they’re in competition with you? Or trying to outpace you?
I have wondered why someone would even hurt or ruin someone who has once helped them or made them whom or what they are. Why would a purported “friend” turn on someone s/he was once close to? How do we sort out the people who truly deserve our friendship or assistance? How do we help people in need without losing part of ourselves, feeling hurt or being taken advantage of? How do we cope with the aftermath of being hurt by those we once helped and backstabbed us? How do we move forward?
What are the implications of such ingratitude and dienguinty on the the parties (individuals) involved?
I see each experience or situation as a learning experience. We learn about humans through our interactions and associations with others. I have learned that needy people can be bad or disengenoius. The needy can disappoint too. A change in situations can change people. The fact that you helped, supported, lifted or rescued someone doesn’t mean they would reciprocate or necessarily have good intentions about you. Our good deeds to people may not always bring us positive experiences, but rather negative ones or even detractions.
I really have a new appreciation for those who don’t think it’s anyone we should help. My advice is do what you can, don’t go beyond what you’re able because you never know. Be careful about putting others’ interests above yours. You should love yourself first. After all, those who appreciate you would appreciate anything you do whilst those without appreciation won’t appreciate whatever big things you do for them.
Just do what you can and ignore everything else.
Best wishes,
Akosua G
Ontario, Canada
February 08, 2020