Empathy: it is the ability to see through the eyes of others or to appreciate another person’s situation or experience. Alfred Adler said, one can empathize when s/he can “[see] with the eyes of another, [hear] with the ears of another and [feel] with the heart of another [person]”. Mother Theresa once said, “if you judge people you have no time to love them”. John Steinbeck also said, “you can only understand people if you feel them in yourself”.

So one cannot or may not fully appreciate how another person feels until s/he can put herself or himself in the person’s shoes. How can you understand someone if you are not in another person’s situation? How can you fully understand someone if you have not experienced his/her life events? And even if you experienced a similar situation, are all situations unnecessarily the same? And even if they are close to being identical, how can the impacts be the same on completely different individuals with different other life circumstances and/or if the events occurred at different times or different stages of their lives.

Often, I have seen people judge sick people, mock those with disabilities, face financial difficulties or may have made mistakes. The worst and most intolerable for me is when people judge those in grief, mourning or in severe difficulties. How is that ever acceptable or a good thing?

You Really Think You Know?
Recently, I was having a conversation with someone whose close family member under 40 had been given a new terminal cancer diagnosis. Although this individual knows anyone could be diagnosed with cancer and is certainly empathic to others, she recognizes she had not fully appreciated the gravity of such a diagnosis on individuals and families until now. She said, “I never knew how it felt until it happened to us”. That definitely resonated with me.

There is nothing more frustrating than someone who does not know you situation judging you so harshly. People think they know what you could have done differently or could be doing in your situation which may have been extremely overwhelming and when you may be struggling to keep your head above water so you don’t drown. And they think they know best, really?

No Formula or Script to Follow:

Life has no script to follow and no two experiences are the same. Whilst situations may look similar they may not be necessarily identical. Also, people react to the same situations differently. How each person copes each situation or even seemingly similar life events are influenced by many factors:past experiences, social support, socioeconomic circumstances, past trauma, mental strength, emotional stability, other stressors, level of awareness etc.

Moreover, life leaps and bounds. All kinds of things happen to people through no fault of theirs. Individuals have different strengths, capacities and limits at the same time. They may not have played any role or wished any misfortune on themselves.

Having this awareness is the first step to developing empathy. Inability to appreciate these factors is a sign of detachment to humanity and a sign of one’s limited or narrow understanding of life. People without empathy have no compassion, tend to be insensitive, reactive, cruel and self-indulgent.

It is important to learn about others and their perspectives. It is important NOT to claim to be an expert of someone else’s life or situation. How can you be? How is that possible?

Empathy is a basic principle and social skill in life. It the ability to recognize the pain of others and to recognize when your actions may be hurtful. Empathy helps you reflect, exercise restraint and to care about others. Learn to care, learn to empathize. It is neither useful nor wise to inflict more harm or pain to those who are already down.

Be kind always, learn to care. No one has monopoly over life’s hardship and grief. Everyone has his/her turn.

Signed,
Akosua G
Ontario, Canada
May 23, 2020

114 thoughts on “Empathy: a Skill and a Indicator of Character.”
  1. I was curious if you ever considered changing the layout of your blog? Its very well written; I love what youve got to say. But maybe you could a little more in the way of content so people could connect with it better. Youve got an awful lot of text for only having one or 2 pictures. Maybe you could space it out better?

  2. I am just commenting to let you understand what a cool encounter our girl enjoyed browsing your web site. She figured out lots of pieces, not to mention how it is like to have a great coaching nature to make other people without difficulty learn specified extremely tough topics. You truly surpassed my expectations. Many thanks for imparting these beneficial, safe, explanatory and also fun tips on that topic to Lizeth.

  3. May I just say what a relief to uncover a person that truly understands what
    they’re talking about on the web. You definitely understand how to bring a problem to light and make it important.

    More and more people should check this out and understand this side of your story.

    I was surprised you’re not more popular because you surely
    possess the gift.

  4. each time i used to read smaller articles which as well clear their motive, and that
    is also happening with this piece of writing which I am reading here.

  5. Thank you for another magnificent post. The place else could anybody get that kind of info in such an ideal means of writing?
    I’ve a presentation next week, and I am at the look for such
    info.

  6. Unquestionably believe that which you stated. Your favorite
    reason seemed to be on the net the simplest thing to be aware of.

    I say to you, I certainly get irked while people think about worries that they just do not know about.
    You managed to hit the nail upon the top and also defined out the whole thing without
    having side effect , people can take a signal. Will likely be back to get more.
    Thanks

  7. Right here is the right web site for everyone who really wants to find out about this topic.
    You realize a whole lot its almost tough to argue with you
    (not that I personally would want to…HaHa).
    You certainly put a new spin on a topic which has been discussed
    for years. Great stuff, just great!

  8. Awesome blog! Do you have any recommendations for aspiring writers?
    I’m hoping to start my own site soon but I’m a little lost on everything.
    Would you advise starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many options out there
    that I’m completely overwhelmed .. Any suggestions? Thanks a lot!

  9. continuously i used to read smaller posts
    that also clear their motive, and that is also happening with this post which I am reading here.

  10. Hello there, I found your site by the use of Google even as looking for a related topic,
    your web site got here up, it seems great. I’ve bookmarked it in my google bookmarks.

    Hi there, simply was alert to your weblog
    through Google, and found that it is really informative.

    I am going to watch out for brussels. I will appreciate in the
    event you proceed this in future. Many folks might be benefited out of your writing.
    Cheers!

  11. Howdy! I know this is kinda off topic but I’d figured I’d ask.
    Would you be interested in exchanging links or maybe guest authoring a blog article or vice-versa?
    My website addresses a lot of the same subjects as yours and I believe we could
    greatly benefit from each other. If you’re interested feel free to
    shoot me an e-mail. I look forward to hearing from you!
    Terrific blog by the way!

  12. I’ll right away snatch your rss feed as I can’t in finding
    your e-mail subscription hyperlink or newsletter service.
    Do you have any? Kindly allow me recognize in order that I could subscribe.

    Thanks.

  13. Definitely believe that which you said. Your favorite reason seemed to be
    on the web the simplest thing to be aware of. I say to you, I
    certainly get irked while people think about worries that they plainly don’t know about.
    You managed to hit the nail upon the top and defined out
    the whole thing without having side effect , people can take a signal.
    Will likely be back to get more. Thanks

  14. Attractive section of content. I just stumbled upon your web site and in accession capital to
    assert that I acquire actually enjoyed account your blog posts.
    Anyway I’ll be subscribing to your feeds and even I achievement you access consistently quickly.

  15. Today, I went to the beach front with my children. I found a sea shell and gave it
    to my 4 year old daughter and said “You can hear the ocean if you put this to your ear.” She put the shell to her ear and screamed.
    There was a hermit crab inside and it pinched her ear.
    She never wants to go back! LoL I know this is entirely off topic but I
    had to tell someone!

  16. I am curious to find out what blog platform you’re using?
    I’m having some small security problems with my latest site
    and I’d like to find something more safe. Do you have any suggestions?

  17. When I originally commented I seem to have clicked the -Notify me
    when new comments are added- checkbox and from now on every time a comment is
    added I recieve four emails with the exact same comment.
    There has to be an easy method you can remove me from that service?
    Thanks!

  18. Do you mind if I quote a couple of your posts as long as I provide credit and sources back to your website?

    My blog is in the exact same niche as yours and my users would
    genuinely benefit from some of the information you provide here.
    Please let me know if this ok with you. Cheers!

  19. It’s actually very difficult in this active life to listen news on Television,
    so I simply use world wide web for that reason, and get the hottest information.

  20. What’s Happening i am new to this, I stumbled upon this I have found It absolutely useful and it has aided me out loads. I hope to contribute & aid other users like its aided me. Good job.

  21. Its such as you learn my mind! You appear to understand a lot about this, like you wrote the guide in it or something. I feel that you simply can do with some percent to pressure the message home a little bit, but instead of that, that is excellent blog. A great read. I’ll certainly be back.

  22. Awesome site you have here but I was curious about if you knew of
    any discussion boards that cover the same topics talked about here?
    I’d really like to be a part of online community where I can get feed-back from other experienced individuals that share the same interest.
    If you have any recommendations, please let me know.
    Bless you!

  23. I’m impressed, I have to admit. Rarely do I come across a blog that’s both equally educative and amusing, and let me tell you,
    you have hit the nail on the head. The issue is something which not enough
    men and women are speaking intelligently about. I’m very happy that I found this in my hunt for something regarding this.

  24. Does your site have a contact page? I’m having a tough time locating it
    but, I’d like to shoot you an email. I’ve got some recommendations for your blog you might
    be interested in hearing. Either way, great site and I look
    forward to seeing it grow over time.

  25. I’ve been surfing on-line more than 3 hours today,
    but I never discovered any fascinating article like yours.
    It’s beautiful value sufficient for me. In my view, if all web owners and bloggers
    made just right content as you did, the web will probably be a
    lot more helpful than ever before.

  26. We’re a gaggle of volunteers and starting a brand new scheme in our community.
    Your website provided us with valuable info to work on. You have done a formidable process and our
    whole group will likely be grateful to you.

  27. After I originally commented I seem to have clicked
    on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox and now every time a comment is added I recieve
    4 emails with the same comment. There has to be a means you are able to remove me from that service?
    Cheers!

  28. naturally like your website however you have
    to test the spelling on several of your posts.
    A number of them are rife with spelling issues and I in finding it very bothersome to tell the reality however
    I’ll certainly come again again.

  29. Hiya! Quick question that’s entirely off topic.
    Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My website looks weird when browsing from my apple iphone.
    I’m trying to find a template or plugin that might be able to correct this issue.

    If you have any recommendations, please share.

    Thanks!

  30. My developer is trying to convince me to move to .net from PHP.
    I have always disliked the idea because of the expenses.
    But he’s tryiong none the less. I’ve been using Movable-type on a variety of websites for about
    a year and am anxious about switching to another
    platform. I have heard excellent things about blogengine.net.
    Is there a way I can import all my wordpress posts into it?
    Any kind of help would be really appreciated!

  31. Howdy, i read your blog occasionally and i own a similar one and i was just
    wondering if you get a lot of spam feedback?
    If so how do you stop it, any plugin or anything you can advise?

    I get so much lately it’s driving me mad so any assistance is very much appreciated.

  32. What you posted made a bunch of sense. But,
    consider this, what if you composed a catchier title?

    I mean, I don’t wish to tell you how to run your website,
    but suppose you added something to maybe get folk’s attention? I mean Empathy: a Skill and a Indicator of Character.
    – AkosGoJack Blog is a little boring. You ought to peek at Yahoo’s front
    page and note how they write news headlines to get people to click.
    You might try adding a video or a pic or two to get people excited about what you’ve written. In my opinion, it would
    make your posts a little bit more interesting.

  33. Hi would you mind letting me know which web host you’re utilizing?
    I’ve loaded your blog in 3 different web browsers and I must
    say this blog loads a lot faster then most. Can you recommend a good
    hosting provider at a honest price? Kudos, I appreciate it!

  34. What i don’t realize is in fact how you’re no longer really
    much more smartly-preferred than you may be now. You are very intelligent.

    You already know therefore significantly on the subject
    of this subject, produced me in my opinion consider it from numerous various angles.

    Its like women and men aren’t involved except it is something
    to accomplish with Girl gaga! Your individual stuffs nice.
    All the time maintain it up!

  35. Hello there, just became aware of your blog through Google,
    and found that it is truly informative. I’m gonna watch out for brussels.
    I’ll appreciate if you continue this in future. Lots of people will be benefited
    from your writing. Cheers!

  36. Heya are using WordPress for your site platform? I’m
    new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and create my own. Do you require any
    coding knowledge to make your own blog? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

  37. Hi this is somewhat of off topic but I was wondering if blogs use WYSIWYG editors
    or if you have to manually code with HTML.
    I’m starting a blog soon but have no coding know-how so I
    wanted to get guidance from someone with experience. Any help would
    be enormously appreciated!

  38. Do you mind if I quote a few of your articles as long as I
    provide credit and sources back to your site? My blog is in the very same niche as yours and my visitors would truly benefit from a lot of
    the information you present here. Please let me know if this ok
    with you. Thanks!

  39. What i don’t realize is actually how you’re not really
    much more well-liked than you may be now. You are very intelligent.

    You recognize thus considerably when it comes to this matter, made me in my opinion believe it
    from so many various angles. Its like women and
    men are not fascinated except it is something to accomplish with Woman gaga!

    Your personal stuffs outstanding. Always deal with
    it up!

  40. Today, while I was at work, my cousin stole my iphone and tested to see if it can survive a
    25 foot drop, just so she can be a youtube sensation. My iPad is
    now destroyed and she has 83 views. I know this is completely off topic but I had to share it with someone!

  41. I’m very pleased to uncover this great site.

    I wanted to thank you for your time due to this wonderful read!!
    I definitely enjoyed every part of it and I have you saved as a favorite to see new things
    in your website.

  42. Nice post. I used to be checking continuously this blog and I’m impressed!
    Extremely useful information specifically the remaining part 🙂 I handle
    such info much. I used to be looking for this particular information for a very lengthy time.
    Thank you and best of luck.

  43. I simply could not leave your website prior to suggesting that I extremely enjoyed
    the usual information an individual supply on your
    guests? Is going to be again regularly to check
    out new posts

  44. I don’t know whether it’s just me or if perhaps everybody else
    encountering issues with your site. It seems like some of the written text on your posts are running off the screen. Can somebody else please comment and let me know if this is happening
    to them too? This may be a issue with my internet browser because I’ve had this happen before.
    Kudos

  45. We absolutely love your blog and find most of your post’s to be what precisely I’m looking for.
    Do you offer guest writers to write content to suit your needs?
    I wouldn’t mind creating a post or elaborating on a
    few of the subjects you write concerning here. Again,
    awesome web log!

  46. Hello there! This article couldn’t be written any better!

    Looking at this post reminds me of my previous roommate!
    He always kept preaching about this. I’ll forward
    this article to him. Fairly certain he’s going to have a great
    read. Thank you for sharing!

  47. Hmm it seems like your site ate my first comment (it was super long) so I guess I’ll just sum it up what I had written and say, I’m thoroughly enjoying your
    blog. I too am an aspiring blog writer but I’m still new to everything.
    Do you have any tips for newbie blog writers?

    I’d definitely appreciate it.

  48. Excellent post. I was checking constantly this blog and I
    am impressed! Extremely useful info particularly the last part
    🙂 I care for such information a lot. I was seeking this particular information for a long time.
    Thank you and good luck.

  49. I have been surfing online more than 2 hours today, yet I never found any interesting article like yours.
    It is pretty worth enough for me. In my opinion, if all web owners and bloggers made good content
    as you did, the web will be much more useful than ever before.

  50. This is really interesting, You’re a very skilled blogger.
    I’ve joined your feed and look forward to seeking more
    of your wonderful post. Also, I have shared
    your website in my social networks!

  51. Hey would you mind sharing which blog platform you’re working with?
    I’m looking to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having a hard time choosing between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal.
    The reason I ask is because your layout seems different then most blogs
    and I’m looking for something unique. P.S My apologies for being off-topic but I had to ask!

  52. When I originally commented I clicked the “Notify me when new comments are added” checkbox and now
    each time a comment is added I get three e-mails with the same comment.
    Is there any way you can remove me from that service?

    Thank you!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.